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Vicious Moods & The Writing (w. esoteric/metaphysical bent)

When I am feeling unwound and poured open, I like to fill myself with worthy things. A poem with words that ooze with meaning. A book on spirit. Quotes and breath and clean air. This is a time for such behavior, being a Pisces Sun + Cancer Moon, two feminine goddesses of oceanic depths. Today, the mood is rich with feeling. Perhaps chaos, or a brilliant monsoon, or a sun-lit breakthrough. The date, March (month 3) 10, 2014 adds up to the energy of 11.

11 is a master number.

“The 11 symbolizes the potential to push the limitations of the human experience into the stratosphere of the highest spiritual perception; the link between the mortal and the immortal; between man and spirit; between darkness and light; ignorance and enlightenment. This is the ultimate symbolic power of the 11.” (Numerology.com)

Everyday is one of exploration. There is no energy, productive or destructive, that goes without purpose. I like to work with these moods (when possible)—ride them like a wave to my current destination. Often, we make plans ahead of our moods, so when we arrive to the plan, we’re not “in the mood” for them. This is okay. It just means the plan was created from a mood you are no longer in. It does not mean the plan must always be avoided, or canceled, or postponed to a time when you are, again, in the “right mood.” It means that this mood is offering a unique perspective that you may or may not have agreed to in the time of the planning, had you known of the new mood beforehand. Perhaps your plans might even transform these moods into ones of higher frequency or awareness…

I write this on my blog for writers, because so often am I not “in the mood” for anything I plan (like writing). Yet, I know planning (or, organization) is essential to my well-being and focus (and yes, my mental health). There are times where I’ve written in my calendar to write a blog…and then the day comes, and I no longer feel inspired, or motivated. And since my blog here is not something of major consequence when I fail to update, it consistently gets pushed to the “I’ll Get To It Later” pile. Again, the current Pisces energies might contribute to this impulse of feeling. However, I know in my heart and inner sense that there is a specific use for this energy—and that use has something to do with reconstruction. I believe this shakiness of feeling is a time to swim through moods and impulse and circumstance, and not be ruled by them… to empower people (me, us) with the timeless knowledge that “this [pain, confusion, low energy, joy, excitement, fever of emotion], too, shall pass.”

This beautiful energy asks: what do you truly care about? Are you avoiding that which you truly care about, and if so, what’s the cause? What else do you need to believe about yourself, for you to rise above your fluctuating moods, or integrate them? It asks from a place of heart-filled truth: what is it that you need, [your name here]?

Pisces is the end of a cycle—when the ending and beginning become one, like the ouroboros. Even the symbol of the Piscean two fish create a circle in the shape of the ouroboros. The energy is regenerative. A return to the Self to become even more the Self. It peels back the layers of illusion, or ego, as we return to the sea of who are are.

The ride into Pure Being can be turbulent, since it means shedding some of our former stories about ourselves, to become focused on what it is we truly subsist of and on. Hence, the moods. Moods are simply insights into what we are accepting and what we are resisting. They are a significator, a torrent of energy with a specific personality, which can lead to revelation about the subject at hand.

As a Cancerian who has often been completely RULED by my moods, I say, why not use them? They are a portal, after all. They are here not as a demise to my Self, or my plans, or my will. They are here to launch me into self-awareness.

To my writers out there, I’ll share a technique I used the other day, when I was raging with anger and irritation: if you are angry, guide that anger (which is a wildly powerful energy) into your hands, and then into your computer, where you let your story merge with reality. Punch out the words. Yell out your meanings. Set fire to something your character cares about. If it’s sadness you are dwelling inside of, make your words sigh with you. Let that energy break up inside of you, as you paint all the clouds in your setting a charcoal gray. When I did this, my entire being transformed. Since I used the anger, I was no longer angry. It was a miracle. During the writing session, when I was pounding away at the perceived issues and my irritation of humankind, I naturally asked myself, “Well, what’s the solution here?” I started pouring my energy into that arena, asking, “How can we resolve this? If this is the ‘wrong’ (or, ‘limiting’) way, then what is a ‘better’ (or, ‘freeing’) way?” The energy transformed from destructive to creative… I started to see the possibility at the root of this unbearable emotion.

It was beautiful, and I was free to move on.

Image

(Ourosboros)

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